Quick Fixes you Need for Tantrums from Your Toddler in the Terrible Twos
January 21, 2022
One of the most common causes of parental stress is Tantrums. Everyone uses to phrase “The Terrible Twos”- it’s not really meant for only 2-year-olds. It’s more about the 2-year time frame when kids are most likely to respond to hardships with tantrums. This is normal for kids when they are at this age of language and emotional development. read that word again- NORMAL! Today you can be reminded that you are not alone. These Quick Fixes you Need for Tantrums from Your Toddler in the Terrible Twos will help you start good habits for dealing with Tantrums.
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The Independence Battle
They learned a new skill from watching you! And now they want to do it even if they can’t do it correctly or in a timely fashion.
Whether it’s flushing the toilet and waiting to do that for everyone in the family or putting on clothes, or climbing on and off chairs, the reason is the same. They have learned they can do things! The power to achieve is in their hands. There is no concept of time, right, or wrong, complete or incomplete, only that the power to do it is there.
Quick Fix- Give choices so they can choose how to reach those goals. For example, “Mommy will put one sock on and you put on the other sock. Which foot do you want to put the sock on?”
Quick Fix- Redirect. “It’s not time to practice flushing the toilet now but you can show me how to wash your hands, shut the bathroom door, etc.” Choose another skill they can practice.
The Food Battle
They don’t want to sit at the table to eat.
They don’t want to eat the food you made.
The want more snacks when snack time is over.
It’s dinner time and she doesn’t want to get in her seat to eat. She is busy playing but hungry. try to focus her on the dinner routine. You slaved away on delicious food and can’t wait to eat but she isn’t interested in tasing. Snack time is over but she is demanding more! Eating is the necessary evil of parenting. It can feel overwhelming trying to teach them good eating habits with the stress of tantrums.
Quick Fix- Give Choices. “Will you climb in the chair or will I put you n the chair? What color plate or fork do you want to use?”
Quick Fix- Always try to include one food with each meal that you know they will definently eat. This makes new foods not seem as overwelming.
Quick Fix- Small Portions. Start small and you can always add more to the plate. Big portions can scare them off from trying somthing new.
Quick Fix- Routine. Have snack at the same time everyday and give a predetermined amout. Also, create a very fun activity after snack thats a great redirect. Water is a good tummy filler after snack and we always need more of that in our life.
The Transition Battle (Maybe the Biggest one at this Age!)
Time to get dressed for the day or into PJs at night.
Getting into the carseat.
Putting on shoes.
To and from the Dinner table.
Leaving a Fun Place like the library or a friends house.
You go to buckle the car seat and your kiddo goes stiff as a board. It’s time to leave the library and they lose their mind. Morning routines like getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc, are causes of serious meltdowns. Transitions are change and your little toddler doesn’t like change. Even when change and movement through the day are necessary and can lead to good things.
Quick Fix- Give Warnings. Letting them know what’s coming before it happens. you can go as far as a schedule. Some just use the – choose one more thing to do and then it’s time to leave, get dressed, etc.
Quick Fix- Give Choices. 2 choices that both lead to your desired goal. “Will Mama brush your teeth or will you brush your teeth?” Will you want to to car or will I carry you?”
The Most Powerful and Over Looked Quick Fix in this LIST!
Quick Fix-DON’T ASK!!!!! This one is so big and important! Don’t give them the chance to say no when its their favorite word! As adults we are conditioned to ask to be polite. With kids- especially this age they just need to be told. “It’s bath time!” instead of “Are you ready for bathtime?” Try your very hardest to not ask those yes or no questions. Aim for open ended questions that they HAVE to answer with your end goal. Goal- Getting PJs on. Question-“Will you get PJs on in your bedroom or in Mama’s bedroom?” Goal- Getting into the car. Question- “Do you want the toy car or the toy doll in your car seat?” Goal- Brushing Hair. Question- “Do you want me to use the red brush or the blue brush to fix your hair?” Giving choices gives them power. You just want to avoid giving them the power to say no when you are trying to get things done.
The 4 Most Important Skills to Quick Fix Any Temper Tantrum
1. Pick Your Battles
Can you take the time to slow down and allow the learning or do you truly need to move quickly? Is he or she too tired or hungry to understand the transition, routine, or lesson? Try to be flexible when you can and when your kids need you to be.
No yes or no questions! Stick with your routine so they know what’s coming and don’t change the rules based on your mood.
3. Attention Cups Filled
Take that time when you can to give them attention. Let them try with your guidance, to master all the skills. Model how to make those transitions by giving your attention and your well-thought open-ended questions. Read more about Filling Attention Cups here!
4. Power Cups Filled
Give your kids that sense of accomplishment and power. Redirect to something they can do like shutting the bathroom door instead of flushing the toilet. Choosing their plate for dinner instead of whether or not it’s actually dinner time. Pick some time each day where they can practice and you will and can wait with patience and attention.
Even the most seasoned parent can have trouble with some of these. Join my Facebook Group! Tuesdays are going to turn into Quick Fix Tuesday! I will pose a parenting goal that might cause a Tantrum to develop. Everyone is welcome to comment on how they would respond. Practice makes Perfect!