10 Ideas to Refocus When you Reach Parenting Survival Mode
Everyone has ideas, goals, and aspirations about what kind of parent they want to be. Many times in life and parenting we get sent into survival mode or “in the weeds” as some may call it. You find yourself just trying to make it though, or SURVIVE! It can be easy at this time to fall into old habits you may not like. We could stick with comfortable ideas that might not lead you to your wanted end goal. Big changes and stress can trigger survival mode. Be those stressors big or small they can pile on just the same. Gathered here are some easily doable ideas to get you back on track and help you refocus when you are ready. My favorite 10 Ideas to Refocus When you Reach Parenting Survival Mode.
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First things First
If you are still struggling, surviving and in the weeds please take care of yourself. Check out these 5 Things to Try When Times Get Hard. Rest, Recover and even try some therapy if you need it!
1. Focus Word, Quote or Vision Board
Choose a word, quote, or phrase that will help you focus on your parenting ideals and goals. You can post it around your home to help remind you during this time while you are working to get back on track. Some questions to ask yourself when choosing a word, phrase, or quote are:
- What kind of parent do you want to be now and in the future?
- Experiences you want to have?
- What are characteristics you want to develop in yourself?
- What is important for your kids to learn?
Some Parenting Focus Word Examples are:
- Check out this cool article on chooseing a focus word for each person in your family.
Some Parenting Focus Quote Examples are:
- “Remember you are not managing an inconvenience. You are raising a human being.”- Kittie Franz
- “To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.”-Barbara Johnson
- “There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Just be a real one.”- Sue Atkins
- “Children must never work for our love, they must rest in it.”-Gordon Neufeld
- “The most powerful way to change the world is to live in front of our children the way we would like the world to be.”- Graham R. White
What is Vision Board?
Put many words, quotes, pictures, and anything that motivates you on a small board and hang it where you can be inspired by it every day! Cute things from magazines, print from online, use stickers, photos, or even kids artwork! The crafty person in me loves this idea and I am going to challenge all my friends to create one for themselves to start off the New Year. Bonus: If you have older kids you can get them to work on one of their own as well!
2. Read a Parenting Book
This idea is self-explanatory. Choose a book you think may fit your parenting style. Check out this cool parenting style quiz to find out yours. https://activeparenting.com/for-parents/parenting-quiz/ If you are not a big reader- grab the audiobook! The type of book you will get the most out of will be different for every parent. Here are some on my “to read” list this year.
3. Have a Parenting Philosiphy Chat with Family or Friends.
This is one of my favorites. I love sharing ideas, stories, and comparing parenting notes with my favorite people. This can give a new perspective, remind you that you’re not the only one dealing with certain struggles, and maybe even solve some problems or help you overcome some crazy parenting hurdle. Just be sure to remember- everyone has opinions and loves to talk about them. Enter discussions with love, compassion, and an open mind!
4. Listen to a Parenting Podcast
This is a great choice if you’re not so much into the instructional format of books. There are many, many informational and entertaining podcasts out there. You can listen to other people have discussions if you are not about that idea in #3. Remember to look back at that Parenting Style Quiz so you can choose the best option. Here are some Parenting Podcast suggestions in the link below!
5. Deep Clean Your House or Pay Someone to Do It
Sometimes when we need a reset on things- fixing our environment can help. Starting in a fresh and organized space is mind-clearing. It can take away the stress you didn’t even realize you had! Check out Mom’s Spring Cleaning.
6. Look at Old Baby Photos and Milestones You have Made it Through
Checking out old photos always gets me happy. Looking back at cute moments and memories is like therapy. I especially like noticing some times when things were hard. Like when I broke my foot- I saw a photo of that the other day and it reminds me of the perspective shift I had during and after. I survived, I grew, I changed and so did my kids. Want to read more about this story Foot Injury Mom- Things Learned Week 1 Using Only 1 Foot with 2 Kids.
Your moments might be smaller than a broken bone- like surviving potty training or getting your kid to sleep in a big kid bed- but they are no less powerful.
7. Take some time off!
Send those kids to Grandma’s or Aunty’s house for a day or two. Enjoy sleeping in, eating foods they don’t like, watching grown-up tv all day, etc. Ever hear the phrase, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? It’s true! You miss them but sometimes you need to reset. Have that break to remember your purpose and focus as a parent. Sometimes it takes that break to remember you are a person and not just a parent.
8. Fill Attention Cups
The easiest way to get good things from your kiddos is by filling their Attention Cups! Kids need it. They look to you for everything and even if it might not seem that way thrive on attention. They will seek Attention out if they are missing it -positive or negative. Learn more about how to Fill your Kid’s Attention Cup.
Take some time with each kid and some something you enjoy together. Teach them something new, read a book, watch a tv show, etc.
9. Talk to Your Kids
I almost included this in the Attention Cups section. But this is more about talking to your kids. Teaching them strategies for getting through the Survival mode. Modeling techniques and asking them if they have any ideas that might help your family work as a team to survive and thrive. Kids have wonderful ideas. Taking the time to slow down, listen, and brainstorm how to possibly implement them is important! It’s mutual respect, listening to them I’m a model for how they will listen to you.
10. Gratitude Journaling
I have talked about gratitude helping create happiness many times. Thinking about the good this for which you are thankful is a great way to refocus your energy. Good thought= good parenting energy. Take a few moments each day to write down something for which you are thankful. On my Facebook Group, I pose a Thankful Prompt every Thursday! Also, I have several easy-to-use Gratitude Journals right on Amazon. Check out my Author Page and Order one TODAY!
10 Ideas to Refocus When you Reach Parenting Survival Mode are just some quick ideas to get you back on track after a big change, stress, or anything that sent you into survival mode.
I challenge you to create your own Vision Board and Sare it with us on the Facebook Group! Mine is pictured below.